Immgrates

Like so many reoccurring cases of herpes, The Larkins Way is back to peddle its very own brand of snake oil and ignorance. A lot of nonsense has happened during a hiatus filled with self-loathing, internal conflict and one very sexy game of "Omeletteville Lost His Pants". Almost too much for me to even really care about, but one thing has grabbed my baby maker and given it a good 'How do you do'. That issue is immigrant's rights. More specifically, illegal immigrants rights. If your anything like me and judging by the lack of empathy for this site your not, there ain't nothin' right about being illegal.

That ol' soft spot Omeletteville however, has a real bleeding heart for the border busters that is only exceeded by his sympathy for hapless bastard Tom Arnold. He also sits when he pees, but that is beside the point.

What is the point is that the two of us thought we'd rustle us up an immigrant and hold a forum to discuss the sensitive issues of illegal immigration that face us as a nation today.

The orator will be none other then Smokey and the Bandit and the panel will consist of yours truly, Omeletteville and Pepe; a day laborer we invited to join us for this frank and informative discussion. We hope you enjoy and learn a little something today.



SatB: Gentleman, thank you for joining the Internet and me tonight to discuss this volatile issue.

O'ville: Thank you, Smokey. It's nice to meet you, Pepe. Murph.

Murph: Smokey, always a pleasure. Welcome to the U.S. Pepe. Omelette, nice dye job.

Pepe: ¿Por qué mantiene usted el llamamiento mí Pepe?

SatB: Omelette, let's start with you. Given the recent and growing outrage against these administration policies, do you see a softening in their political stance?

O'ville: Absolutely, given the ever-growing outcry from the public, this administration would be foolish not to address legitimate social concerns.

Murph: I tend to disagree with that line of reasoning…

O'ville: Eat it, jerkface. I got the floor!

SatB: Wait, let's shift gears and hear Murph out.

Pepe: ¿Quién es usted personas? ¿Por qué soy yo blindfilded con medias de damas?

SatB: Slow down, Pepe. You'll get your chance to speak.

Murph: Thank you Smokey. As I was saying, the president and his cabinet are too overloaded with a myriad of other international problems at the moment to direct their attention to this issue.

O'ville: What problems? Like who get a piece of your ass next?

Murph: Did your mother tell you that after she jumped old man Cheney's brittle bones? Cause that's what she said after I jumped hers.

SatB: Zing!

Pepe: ¿Por qué huele como vasoline y menta aquí dentro? Por favor Señor los mantiene lejos de "México pequeño"!

SatB: OK Pepe, you seem like a real chatty Cathy about this issue. What are your thoughts?

Pepe: ¡Otra vez con Pepe! ¿Por qué gringos no me saldrán usted ir el trabajo en los campos? Espero que esto no sea alguna clase de la pandilla del sexo de wierd…

O'ville: How interesting. I really connect with your feelings on this topic, Pepe.

Pepe: ¡En el segundo pensó, ha sido un rato y como ellos dicen, "Cuando en Roma"!

Murph: Hey! Hands off the goods, Pepe!

SatB: It appears someone wants to go back south of the border. Wink!

Pepe: ¡Diablo blanco! cómo usted tienta mis sentidos!

O'ville: Uh, can we get back to the discussion?

Murph: Screw that. This guy's getting a little to glad to know ya for my tastes.

SatB: Well… at least we broached the subject. That's usually a victory around here. Until next time gentle audience! Adios!

Pepe: ¿Cuál alguno de ustedes quiere un sabor de mis tamales? ¡MMMMMMM!