Holy Shit.

The hurricane aftermath is quickly spiraling into chaotic and super dangerous proportions. Anarchy seems almost inevitable. Thoughts and prayers to all who are left to deal with the many upcoming struggles.

And to think all of the billions of dollars and valiant heroics tied up in the Middle East.

W, don't let your countrymen down.

Of Philosophy And Stuffed Animals.

My recent slump into total political and social apathy has taken a horrible toll on the Larkins Way. That and the fact that I think Omeletteville killed Smokey and the Bandit over a game of Canasta has hurt my overall ability to zero in on my cynical tendencies to utilize for the greater good of wasting peoples time. Realizing that this has brought updates of LW to an almost standstill while trying to get my one year anninversary project somewhere near started, I came to the conclusion I had to get back to my roots and surf the internet in a grand nerd-loser fashion. Luckily I found something marvelously stupid to share with you chuckleheads.

It started innocently enough with finding a creepy looking picture of a stuffed animal. Wanting to try and use the pic in some fashion in an update, I set off in search of more pics. This propelled me deep into the seedy underbelly of the stuffed animal internet community, which frankly, has some real oddballs occuping lots of bandwidth. What I wasn't prepared for was a website dedicated soley to the rights of stuffed animals. Written BY stuffed animals. Obviously I had to read all about it.



The captivating tagline that launched this cotton filled juggernaught simply read: "The Revolution in the Politics of Plush"
As I read further of the thoughts and philosophies of two ragged looking childhood abominations I was treated to such nuggets of wisdom as:

"Within the human sphere, groups that were formerly marginalised have now become politicised and have advanced arguments why they should be treated on a par with the hegemonic group. In the industrial countries of the West, this hegemonic group -- which I just mentioned -- has historically comprised wealthy, able-bodied, heterosexual males of white, Anglo-Saxon ethnic origin and Protestant affiliation."

And:

"Stuffed animals also play a social role. It is this that makes them sentient beings. It is true that their social interaction is largely limited to human infants. That, however, in no way diminishes the facticity of the stuffed animal's real, lived participation in the human social economy."

Honestly, who thinks such goofy nonsense up? Originally I though these the ramblings of an overzealous fifth-grade girlscout, later reforming my opinion to a overweight middleaged spinstress due to the refined nature and grasp of the english language and understanding of obtuse philosophical issues. Albiet ones involving stuffed animals.
Much to my chagrin, upon further investigation, it was found to my dismay that the author of this offputting, cuddly opus was none other then a middleaged Englishman software developer.



This guy is kind of a kook if you ask me. He developes software, has an intense interest in writing and discussing philosophy involving self published books and "internet contributions", his parter is a hypnotherapist and oh yeah, HE AUTHORS A WEBSITE USING THE IDENTITIES OF STUFFED ANIMALS. Ones in his house, in case you were wondering.

Now, this is all innocent fun I'm sure and really there is no room to critisize what goes on at other spots of the internet considering the drivel that is continuously spewed out here, but come on. Stuffed animals rights? I won't post a link to this site because half the fun is finding it yourself. It's odd, it's creepy, but most of all... it disturbs me.

Oh Walt, Where Art Thou?

My childhood memories have finally been callously slain by reality and left for dead in the gutter like some dirty Calcutta beggar. If you need to know why, look no further:

"Disney sweatshops alleged
Anti-sweatshop advocacy group charges that workers make books under oppressive conditions."

The National Labor Committee has laid down some heavy charges that Disney operates under unsafe, oppresive conditions in two of its factories in China including, but not soley pertaining to forced, unpaid overtime, heat outdated questionable machinery and Carrot Top as management.

This allegation, backed by an eleven minute videotape is one of the few things that stings worse then the manevolent smack of an enraged pimp. One of the few thing most adults hold dear in the hardened ventricles of there cynical hearts are the memories of Mickey and company providing years of innocent, welcoming entertainment. To know that all of our childhood friends are soulless corporate whores is a thought ghastlier then another four years of a Bush presidency.

And what to make of this business when the youth of today, careless and carefree, look to Goofy, Donald and even that old cheap bastard Scrooge McDuck for guidence and solaces in this anything goes, I'm gonna get you before you get me world? Can we in good faith continue to lead our children by exsample by supporting animated charlatans?

Were Walt alive, he'd be taking some names and kicking some ass all the while making us, his adoring public comfortable in the knowledge that the cheats and swindlers that have played his beloved creations for fools would be getting theirs, Disney style. Certainly, those responsible for these transgressions against the innocents of the Magic Kingdom will definately taste animated justice.

*ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SURPRISE UPDATE*
It's a freaking trainwreck.

Sit back and relax.

United Nations: Bolt Action

It would appear W isn't as grossly ignorant as once thought. That shifty little bastard waited until everyone went to bed and snuck his sweety, John Bolton, into the back door of the United Nations. Oh, how these scamps play! Shameful.

Unfortunatly, everyone who thought Johnny wasn't ready for W's U.N. dowery has been skunked and left with egg on thier face. I'd imagine it being akin to your boss promoting Gunther the mailboy to manager while while you were on vacation. You come back and POW! A big stupid jerk is running around like King Shit, only he sucks and everyone knows it.

Honestly, you could get a bunch of monkeys, toss them in the White House, let them fling turds against the walls and it would accomplish something more meaningful then what's going on now.