A Glimpse of Tomorrow... Today!

Hello people of the future! I just arrived form the distant time of January 23, 2005!

Wow, this is something else. When I arrived here on this cold winter's eve I wasn't sure what to expect. After writing a post on this site on that fateful day so long ago, I wondered what it would be like to witness the evolution of the Larkins Way of the future, having a spare flux copacitor, I figured "What the hell, let's check it out."

Much to my surprise, this site still exsists. I'm not sure what has become of my compatriots, Smokey & the Bandit and the big "O", they must be old men by now... but it seems the Larkins Way is still accesable, even though created by the archaic means of the "internet". How crude that must seem to you, the future race.

How familiar your time is. W is still president?! Wow! He has to be a soulless machine. I know Dick Cheney was.

The war in Iraq is still a mess? Iraq still exsists? I called that wrong. Do they have there own democracy yet? Maybe you don't know, but in my time it was all a farce. Though it seems we came out on top becuase we are still the most powerful country. Mind boggling!


Actually, this is a pretty lame post. The whole idea didn't come together as well as I thought. But you read it and I wasted your time, so in the end, that's all that counts.

Sorry.

The Mid-West Best

It's freaking cold. I mean real freakin' cold. The snow is a right bastard. Ohio can be a bitch and fix an election. If ol' W is going to get us sucked down to the deepest level of hell, I'd imagine it would be a LOT warmer.

By the way W, is it easy to sleep at night with the blood of the sons and daughters of America on your hands? If your cause is so righteous, why don't your own children stand and serve for the expansion of democracy? That goes for ALL government representitives. Well?

Inagurate This.

WOOO! Let freedom ring, suckers!

At First You Don't Succeed

A few days ago the news making it’s way around was that of Colin "I blew it all on this guy" Powell eluding to the fact that a withdrawal of troops from Iraq could happen as early as later this year. I thought he done smoked some reefer, coming out and saying some stone cold wackiness like that. Then ol’ W went on the record as saying there won’t be any commitment to a date until the Iraqi forces can fend for themselves, and that sounded about right.

NOW a cat by the name of Seymour Hersh is hitting the scene going on about some insider info from the Pentagon stating that old Uncle Sam is creeping round Iran gathering info to drop a pile driver sized whooping on them as early as this summer.

Fan-freakin-tastic. That whole withdrawal business seems highly suspect now. But that’s the nerdy, computer dork, conspiracy theorist in me.

The Pentagon is vehemently stating that chubby wunderpants gots his facts all wrong and is full of inaccurate B.S. as stated:

"Mr. Hersh's article is so riddled with errors of fundamental fact that the credibility of his entire piece is destroyed."

They have stated that most "facts" (if you can call them that, am I right, Pentagon? I mean, really.) are wrong, incorrect, fallacies, monkeyshines, shenanigans, and to quote them, "Soft Bigotry". Catchy, isn’t it?

Mr. Hersh on the other hand? Senior sources as credible as the day is long who want nothing more then to let the madness out.

I believe it. This administration has lost all credibility and has to be the biggest lot of sneaky shysters in years. And to beat you republican pricks to the punch, Clinton was worse. He ate babies souls for breakfast. Happy?

Well kids, I hope all of this is wrong and just a bad spin on misinformation, but given what we know about W and the boys, it’s highly unlikely.

What a Dick.

http://cnn.netscape.cnn.com/news/story.jsp?idq=
/ff/story/0001%2F20050115%2F2325427000.htm&sc=
1151&PhotoID=20050116WAS01D

W, in a recent interview is quoted as saying there is no one who should be held responsible for the mess in Iraq becuase the voters ratified Iraq policy.

"We had an accountability moment, and that's called the 2004
elections," "The American people listened to different assessments
made about what was taking place in Iraq, and they looked at the
two candidates, and chose me."

That was from the Sunday edition of the Washington Post. This guy has some balls, I must say. To actually say that and sleaze out of accountability for his administration's actions is a slap in the face to every one of us in America.

I guess this mess in Iraq is the American people's fault then, eh, W? Oh, right. Only fiftey-one percent of us voted for you, so, I didn't ratify a damn thing. I and forty-nine percent of the country want someone held accountable, or don't we matter to you seeing we didn't vote for you?

I think I have a good idea who the real evil-doer is now.

Wait a tick...

How odd. Many of us have been labeled as liberal. Let’s not kid ourselves… if you are reading this site regularly, which isn’t likely and agree with any of this nonsense in any way, you’ve probably been pegged as a commie liberal at least once.

I was caught in a moment of questionable clarity today while avoiding doing any real noticeable work when a thought struck me as funny.

Not funny haha, but, funny how sad.

In the basic argument, we, the liberals are such because we oppose a false war, waged on false pretense. The thought of the death of innocent people and the destruction of another place we will most likely never see is appalling.

We oppose frivolous expenditures and half-concocted ideas that could disrupt our economy, social security and to a degree, government itself. We feel life is sacred and no person should be denied, out of empathy and moral judgement.

We want accountability for the actions we enact and those accountable to be delt with accordingly. The value of foresight is much more sacred then hindsight and yet, we are willing to stand up for our own to preserve our way of life.

Many of us believe in many separate religions, which guide us. Yet, accept one Supreme Being who we strive to emulate to be better people.

A liberal is viewed as a threat and ignorant for these and many more reasons. To me, to be any other way is unconscionable. How could it be that just over half of this country finds this unacceptable?

Say it ain't so!

Well, the inspectors are home, all the gadgets and gizmos are put away and most of the sites have been stripped of siding and metal to be sold as scrap. Is this the day after the Superbowl? No, it's Iraq. The search for WMD has been called off... a month ago. Guess we all can go home now... whoops! On second thought, maybe not.

Sorry, fellahs.

Oh, if you were wondering, nothing was found.

Meet Me at the Sock-hop

If you haven't been paying attention and lord knows you probably weren’t, students in a Lemoore, CA high school have taken it upon themselves to participate in an activity affectionately referred to as "Freak Dancing".

After the principle warned them to discontinue "Freak Dancing" because of provocative "innuendo", they decided not to listen. Thusly, they incurred the wrath Scholasticleas, god of secondary education, damning California to fall into the ocean and suffer the ascent of the Baldwins to a two thousand-year reign of unbearable torture and insufferable pain.

But really, they just lost their privileges to hold anymore dances, up to and including every high school virgin’s last shot at scoring with that one A/V club chick, prom.



Now, not to sound like a curmudgeon, but I agree. Back in my day that sorta business just didn’t jive and not because I lack most social graces or charm for that matter, but because a lot of people seem to have lost any sense of decency or good taste.

No doubt you’re saying, "They’re not hurting anyone." Fools! If we don’t stop them, who will?

I’ve been to the rock and roll boogie reviews or whatever the kids call them today, sitting there silent and bitter of the scene unfolding before me. Impotent to stop it and unwilling to get my groove on. Where will it end? The streets? Church? Or maybe you will come home early from work one day and find the missus "Freak Dancing" with the mailman. What then, magoo? Huh?

That could be your kid out there and frankly, it’s about time someone stood up and said, "No more thank you. I believe that will be the end of that." Whatever happened to the days of asking a right peachy flapper to do the Lindy?



But, if anyone is to blame for this corrosion of youth, the culprit most likely is none other then the God Father of Soul James Brown himself. What with encouraging everyone to "Get on the scene, with the sex machine" and asking, "Baby, give it up or turn it a loose" it’s no wonder "Freak Dancing" is at our doorstep.

Yes, cheers to that honorable principle for finally taking a stand for decency.

Thank you, Senator Boxer!

Turns out the only Senator with enough balls to question the system is a woman. Barbara Boxer, D-California, joined the objection to voting irregularities in Ohio and the new Democratic Leader Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada stood with her. This forced the House and Senate to hold two hours of debate on the integrity of voting in our country -- hopefully beginning some real reform.

This has only happened one other time since 1897 in our country.

God Bless You, Senator Boxer... Maybe there still is some hope in our election system.

Click here to send her a Thank You letter. As you can see by the tears in the above photo, this couldn't have been easy for her.

Click here to see videos of the event...

PS - For the record, I still blame Ohio for this election... and for unleashing a horrible snowstorm I had to drive through over the holidays.

My Lex Luthor

It's pretty safe to say there are allot of things I don't like. Honestly, I'm a miserable son of a bitch, but it works for me so I go with it. Usually, this attitude is jokingly embraced here, for you the reader to suffer. Frequently.

But here, now, I gotta let it out, Toby Keith is a horrible, talentless cancer on music and America.

I know what your saying, "But Murph, I like country music and Toby is SOOOO patriotic! He shits stars and strips!" Yeah? Well, shut it. I've done a little homework on this red, white and blue turd and have come to the startling realization he's made ALOT of bad music. Somebody has been encouraging this boy, most likely every yokel who can put a PBR tallboy down long enough to smack his girlfriend's kid's teeth out for egging his Trans-Am.

If I might offer up some examples:

Now this nation that I love
Has fallen under attack
A mighty sucker punch came flyin’ in
From somewhere in the back
Soon as we could see clearly
Through our big black eye
Man, we lit up your world
Like the 4th of July

From, "Courtesy Of The Red, White, And Blue (The Angry American)" Riveting! I never equated tragedy with a suckerpunch. At least not one from the back of somewhere.

Now, check out this golden opus:

"I'm just a middle-aged, middle-eastern camel herdin' man
I got a, 2 bedroom cave here in North Afghanistan
Things used to be real cool and they got out of hand when they moved in
They call themselves the Taliban
(ooooo yeah the taliban) (taliban baby)

… Two bedroom cave. TWO BEDROOM CAVE.

You know someday soon we're both gonna saddle up and it'll be
Ride Camel Ride
My old lady she'll be here with me, smilin right by my side
We should do just fine down in Palestine or maybe Turkmenistan
We'll bid a fair adieu and flip the finger to the Taliban
(oh yeah the taliban) (baby)

HAHAAHAHA! Ride camel ride? What the hell is that? And who the hell is doing fine in Palestine? Dude; just cause it rhymes, that doesn’t mean it fits. The only thing I want to give the finger to is this cretin.

That’s a little from the gem "The Taliban Song"

Seriously, how frustrating that this ass-clown is the prime example of what people overseas think of Americans. Good lord. I mean, c’mon… jeez.
Toby Keith, America’s golden turd.

Jeb: International Man of... Something.

Jeb "My Brother Owes Me" Bush packed his bags and hopped the fisrt plane to Asia. Jeb, who touched down in Thailand for a tour and assesment of the damage of the tsunami there as well as Indonesia.

He is quoted as saying his experience in last year’s hurricanes will help him assess the damage in Asia’s tsunami catastrophe, but that the US disaster paled in comparison to the Asian one.

Not to knock him and please do not misconstrude this next statement as trivializing the Florida hurricanes, (because they were terrible in scope and the fine citizens there are still recovering) but sending him the Asia is like having me play in the Super Bowl because I played a couple years of Junior Varsity in college.

I'd imagine he's gonna survey the destruction and think to himself, "Yup, this is pretty damn bad, just like the magic picture box said."

Jeb is the best "W" can do? He has also said he is there to demonstrate the president’s heartfelt commitment to the recovery effort. Dude, talk about short changing.

As a final bonus of having him there, “One of the elements that we’ve learned is economic development, (the need) to jump-start the economy quickly,"
"It looks as though the Thai experience is really quite similar to Florida in the sense that they rely on tourism a lot.”

Granted, but Jeb? Maybe it's just me...

Happy New Year! North Korea wants a nuclear showdown!

That's right, kids! In three major North Korean newspapers, they mention:

"The danger of a nuclear war is growing on the Korean peninsula as the days go by, owing to the U.S. moves to stifle the (North Korea),"

In case you're too lazy to click on the link below, I'll paste the story right here, courtesy of the Washington Times:

N. Korea challenges U.S. approach

Pyongyang, North Korea, Jan. 2 (UPI) -- Pyongyang warned the danger of nuclear war on the Korean peninsula is growing in a New Year's editorial published in North Korea's three major newspapers.

"The danger of a nuclear war is growing on the Korean peninsula as the days go by, owing to the U.S. moves to stifle the (North Korea)," the editorial said.

"All Koreans should stage a powerful struggle for peace against war in order to drive the U.S. troops out of South Korea, remove the very source of a nuclear war and defend the peace and security on the Korean peninsula."

The editorial contrasted with last year's message, making no mention of a need by the North for a nuclear deterrent, and called on the United States to end its hostile attitude toward North Korea, which U.S. President George Bush named to an "axis of evil" that also includes Iran and Iraq.

The United States and North Korea's neighbors are hoping North Korea will agree to restart talks on its nuclear activities in coming weeks, the Financial Times reported.

Click here for the heartwarming story.

Happy New Year!

Oh, jeepers, please make the drums in my head stop... ugh.